Distraction to Natural Attraction

With the feel of fall in the air, and all the smells that come with it, like pumpkin spice and the cool smell of rain….I am going to take you in a different olfactory direction you may not even think about. Let’s discuss scent as it relates to attraction. Now, you may be thinking perfumes and cologne and how you can bathe in them to attract the opposite sex, but I am here to tell you how wrong you are!

Years ago I began the cleansing of my olfactory senses by ditching things like clorox wipes and scented cleaners. As I did this, I noticed I became more sensitive to smells. Scents I used to like started to smell very chemical and unpleasant. I also used to be quite the fan of wearing perfume, and that also started to bother me. Even strong scents in my shampoo and lotions began to bother me.

This made me realize I had spent my life training my scent organs to tolerate artificial, chemical scents. But how does this relate to attraction at all? Well, If you free yourself of all of the artificial smells, you start to notice people’s natural smells. Some of them will smell nice, and some not so nice. Have you ever dated anyone who, if they are away from you, you want to grab the last shirt they wore that has their natural, sweaty smell on it and just smell it, sleep with it and cuddle up to it? If so, congratulations, you dated a person who is a good match for you. If you want to take the sweaty, worn shirt of the person you are dating and stuff it in the washer with double the amount of soap because it makes you gag, then sorry, that person IS NOT a good match for you.

So, let’s get into the science of this, as it had been studied. You can read the detailed article here. And for more detail on scent, read this article. In some studies, men were given shirts to wear for several nights in a row. They used unscented soap and aftershave to keep possible artificial scents out of the study. Then women were given the shirts to sniff and specified which ones were attractive to them. Turns out, the women were attracted to the scent of men who were immunologically dissimilar to them based on the sequence of more than 100 immune system genes known as the MHC, or major histocompatibility complex. But there were also not attracted to the scents of men who were too dissimilar to them, so there seems to be a happy medium.

So what does this mean? This means that choosing a mate based on scent might be nature trying to pair up people who will make offspring with strong immune systems by pairing two people with different immune systems. Studies have shown that the more similar a couples MHC complex, the higher the rate of miscarriage and difficulty conceiving. This may suggest that the body curtails pregnancy of a child that may have a weak immune system through miscarriage.

Also, the more similar the MHC profiles of a couple, the less sexual responsive a female is to her partner, and the more likely that female is to have sexual relations outside the relationship. The number of MHC genes a couple shares directly corresponds to the likelihood they will cheat on each other.

And to throw another wrench in this, when a woman is on birth control pills, things change. She then prefers the scent of men with MHC profiles more similar to hers. Since the pill mimics pregnancy, a woman by nature may be seeking out kin for protection during pregnancy, so that would explain this. It’s like the brain is attracted to genetically similar people (family) instead of genetically dissimilar people (a good mate). So, when the female decides to get off the pill to conceive offspring, she is suddenly less sexually attracted to her partner for reasons she can’t explain. This is her brain, and her body chemistry, telling her she is mating with the wrong man. Some people have termed the birth control pill the “Divorce Pill”. And studies have also shown that women on the pill are also less attractive to men.

So how are we interfering with all of this sexual chemistry? We are dousing ourselves in perfumes and cologne, we are showering every day, we are putting on scented lotions and potions. Back in the days of hunter-gatherers , showers and perfume did not exist, and mates could smell each other from a few feet away. These days, with our natural scents being covered up and washed away, we date people who we end up just not being attracted to, wasting precious time. We even marry people who we have bad chemistry with and suffer out the long consequences of it. It could be contributing to the increase in fertility problems, and the increase in divorce rates.

In my personal life, I have eliminated perfume and artificial deodorant. I use a mild natural deodorant, unscented soaps, and I let my body be natural. Some people may like my smell, some may not. But what I do know is that I am with someone who loves my natural smell and I love his. Yes it was a weird realization, but it has such a calming affect, and everything in the relationship is 10 times better because of the way we enjoy each others smell. Even after an intense gym day, we still enjoy each others smell. My previous partner did not like my smell, and frequently asked me to shower. I also did not like his, and insisted he shower before intimacy. I did like his smell when we first met, but I was on the birth control pill….so that explains that. We didn’t have fertility problems, but our kids did inherit genetic conditions from both of us.

So what should you take away from this? Let your inner hippie out, and go au natural. Those who matter wont mind, and those who mind wont matter! And a personal request, please stop filling the gym locker room with your can of fragrance…it’s killing me! Happy sweating, and happy match making! Find that person who you can bury your face in!

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