Let’s Talk About Love…..and Chocolate!

I know I am supposed to be writing about step 5 in my steps to success….but I decided to throw in a bonus post for Valentines Day. So let’s talk about Love….and Chocolate! I think I am going to talk about chocolate first because, well…I used to be a chocolate addict and I do appreciate some good healthy chocolate. So, like I said, I used to be a chocolate addict and I don’t say that lightly, I ate chocolate….every single day. Chocolate is the one indulgence I don’t have a problem with, if it’s done right, in moderation of course!

When I started on my healthy eating journey, I still ate chocolate every day. I simply switched to a dark chocolate (72% cacao) and ate only a small amount. It wasn’t until I started having to cut weight for competition that I actually gave up my daily chocolate treat in order to make sure I was not eating any sugar. Chocolate does have it’s health benefits. It has antioxidants and can lower cholesterol and heart disease risk, prevent memory decline and may even improve athletic performance. Here is a good read on it’s benefits.

Sooooo, you may ask if I still enjoy chocolate. Yes, I do. I am a fan of mochas, and have tried many of them, all over Albuquerque, as well as in other cities I’ve traveled to. And I have to say, I have indeed found the absolute best Mocha! Chocolate Dude in Albuquerque, a unique chocolate shop in the Nob Hill area, has definitely taken the top award in my book. They make me a mocha with almond milk and REAL dark chocolate spooned right out of the melting pot. And if you don’t know what the difference between real and fake chocolate is, here is your chocolate lesson of the day….not all chocolate is real chocolate! WHAAAA! Yes, real chocolate preparation is painstaking and requires careful melting and conditioning by the process called tempering. The fake chocolate, called compound chocolate, is the easy way out and is used by many candy companies because of it’s ease of preparation. Compound chocolate is made by substituting chocolate liquor and cocoa butter with cocoa powder and cheap vegetable oil. Chocolate Dude uses real chocolate, and as you sit there enjoying your mocha, you will get an authentic chocolate making show as they are always busy preparing their chocolate delights. Once every 1 or 2 weeks, I stop by for a nice relaxing mocha. I actually find having a mocha before my deadlifts helps me lift heavy! Hey, it’s worth a shot, right? So enjoy that chocolate for Valentines Day if you must, but make sure it’s real chocolate so you can experience the true benefits of it. And definitely get it from Chocolate Dude….but remember to pre-order your chocolate covered strawberries because they go fast!

So, what about that love thing we celebrate on Valentines Day. I would talk about it myself, but my friend Tim Cordova has written a description of what love is, and by far I believe his is the most accurate. It is just a small part of his book and documentary series titled “Real Fears and False Sciences”. Read this description, then read it again…and really think about what it says, because I think in this world of ours, we have taken something that should be so beautiful and we have corrupted it with the negativism of insecurities and fears. We have so much stress in relationships that the stress hormone cortisol blocks any potential good feelings from the love hormone oxytocin, and as a result, people are really missing out.  Here is his description…….

First off, love is void of any ownership and without possessiveness of that in which it is directed. Freedom is the base element of love defined from which the human mind is able to be unhindered, free to think, learn, grow and feel within a positive perspective and to propagate a positive action or end result. Love is part of the human condition that stems from the laws of self preservation. Without it we would cease to exist, it is otherwise argued that simple procreation is self evident without love. I beg to differ that without caring and the extending of vulnerabilities, trust, which is the cornerstone of tribal and community, there would be no means to protect and feed.

Love should be void of any negative actions or reactions such as that of jealousy derived from fear of loss which takes over to make love into a possessive act in which negative actions and reactions are evident. Love is not expectant of others to derive happiness. We receive happiness and love from our own actions in cause and effect creating a response that fulfills our needs in happiness. To expect love and happiness from another is not understanding your roll in a symbiotic relationship with another human being. Love between two people starts with one person not expecting anything from the other. This leaves the other to be uninhibited to be themselves or more importantly develop themselves from other desires extending to learning within their available environments.

The complication in love relationships or any relationship will always be at the hand of fear. Fear invokes the insecurities that plaque what could be honest, sincere, uninhibited, love. Love is without the operation of one with low self esteem, criticisms and bullying of others.  Love should be void of those negative-isms in which love can propagate a positive outcome and help to end some of those negative human conditions.

Love is void of expectations as any expectation is wanting from a selfish manner thus inhibiting that which would be an organic natural response from a human reaction or actions of caring, sharing, entrusting, the extending of vulnerabilities which is to say losing the fears that make us want to hold on and never let go to something we never possessed in the first place. We own no one. Neither that of a physical state or especially mental. If you think you do, you do not understand the deeper virtues of love that provide balance and harmony within our being that is innate in any human mind of a normal balanced state. Love is void of those subconscious and conscious manipulations that try to hold on to a supposed love, one that eventually pushes them further and further away until a true loss is experienced. The irony of loss of a relationship as one finds themselves alone without a love or lover, because they are afraid to be alone. The loss of love is most always from the fear of loss.

The realities of love are skewed or redefined by the culture one lives in. One is conducive to being programed, directed, through influence and entrenched doctrine repeated and taught over often hundreds of years also most typically through fear.