Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Summer was busy, I had lots of kid activities and competitions. So, to start off the school year, I have come up with a slogan that I feel is very fitting to explain how I got to where I am! Rebel, Excel, Repeat! I want to explain this revolution the best I can….let’s begin!

Lets start at the beginning…

I will start when I was about 18 years old. I felt, based on influences I had around me at the time, that I needed a man to be happy. I was now graduated from High School and I fell hard into the common thinking that as a woman, I was not complete without a man. So, I kind of jumped with both feet into a relationship, got married and gave up control of my very being to another person at the young age of 19. I want to make it clear, I gave up control, and he willingly took it. I started allowing this person to tell me how to live, who to be around, who to talk to, how to dress, and even how to cut my hair….it’s what I was supposed to do, right? I had to ask for permission for everything I did, every dollar I spent….I threw all of my value into this one person. Society tells me I should be the good wife, right? And in his culture, women are submissive, so that was also an influence and he and his family pushed me to be submissive and attentive. So I slowly started letting go of that tomboyish strong willed girl I was to be the pretty, perfect, attentive wife who kept her strong opinions to herself. I did have a great career for a while, and published 3 research papers, but that was short lived, only about 5 years. Anyway, I did the wife thing for 10 years before having children. I hoped having children would make him value me more, and cherish me, because that was always missing…but things didn’t change. At this point I gave up my career to be a stay at home mom…..because that is what the women do. I love my kids to death, and I am so glad I was there and am still there for them, but I also starting giving more of myself to everyone else, and before I knew it, the strong willed woman who was supposed to take the world by storm was gone. I even joined Mary Kay and started selling makeup and wearing dresses and high heels daily. Many people may get angry at me saying this, but I feel Mary Kay preys on the insecurities of women, especially stay at home moms who are loosing their identity. Anyway, I also was going to church weekly, because I was told to. Teresa was being lost, and I started having thoughts of not wanting to continue this life.

Rebel!

At this point, about 23 years into the marriage, when I hit rock bottom, a person came into my life and helped me change it. He helped me change my thinking, or more so, helped to let the real me come out. He was also the one who got me into lifting. As I started working out, my spouse was not happy. Now, keep in mind I started lifting to try to help with the excruciating back pain I had been experiencing from having 4 kids while having a debilitating genetic condition. But regardless, every time I added a workout day, when I went from 3 days a week to 4 days a week to 5 days a week to 6 days a week, I was met with extreme resistance, even though the lifting was easing my pain. I was asked “when does this end?”. He asked this because he was now loosing control of the “good little wife”. I heard things like “why don’t you use your gym time to go home and clean instead”. Well, him asking me “when does this end?” fueled a fire in me like you would not believe. I had already hit rock bottom, so I had no where to go but death or up, so I used his words to make myself stronger…mentally and physically. I hit the gym like a beast, I took it to the extreme….I was going to show him that he should not have ever uttered those words. I was ready to rebel…I was ready to take my life and my identity back and become the person I know was deep inside trying to claw her way out! Teresa was emerging! The makeup and the dresses had to go! No more prancing around giggling in my high heels while I sold lipstick (high heels are really bad for you, ladies), trying to convince women they were not good enough unless they slapped on the lipstick and batted their makeup caked eyes. I would no longer make women feel more insecure than they already did. This also included me deciding religion and church was not for me. Religion had been used in the marriage to control me and take advantage of me, and tell me exactly what my duties were as a wife (not going to go into details) and I was no longer willing to have any part of it. I am spiritual in my own way, and I will leave it at that.

Excel!

I got stronger, I cried less, I worked out my frustrations in the gym. I embarked on a long, sometimes painful journey of finding myself again, and realizing I had an amazing woman somewhere inside me. I started to realize I had a gift for strength. After watching my first powerlifting meet, I realized I could set records, and my fire grew! I started competing, and my training became my priority, If I was going to compete, just competing wasn’t good enough, I wanted to be the best if I could. After about 3 years of competing, I have earned many state and national records, and am the top NASA female lifter in push/pull and powersports. I also earned a spot on the 2019 New Mexico NASA State Powerlifting team and was the push/pull lifter of the year in 2018. I started a fitness blog and I started painting again. I had already rebelled, now I was ready to excel!

Repeat!

Now that I rebelled, and I excelled, I need to keep going. If I let go of any of those two pieces, my balance is not complete, and I may loose myself again. You have to make decisions to be better, to do better for your body and your mind, and you have to keep going….you repeat the process, even though it evolves along the way. So who is the Teresa that was shoved deep away and finally re-emerged? She is a tomboy who likes learning about working on cars and building transmissions. She still wears dresses, but only ones that accentuate her newly found muscle, and she only wears them with Converse shoes, and she decided high heels are evil. She ditched the heavy eye makeup and only wears a little mascara because she is comfortable with her more natural, unadulterated beauty (her daughter taught her that). She completely ditched lipstick for lip balm and can’t understand how she ever wore that stuff. She got tattoos, even though she was told she was “not allowed” (because the bible says so)…and they are big ones! She stopped wearing perfume and switched to natural deodorant, because those who matter love her natural smell, and those who don’t like it don’t matter! She washes her hair, fluffs it and lets it be in it’s natural state instead of intensely styling it with a straightener…although she still likes to dye it darker :). She is a powerlifter who trains and eats daily for her goals, and will not be swayed by your attempts to get her to have a cheat meal. She gave up the alcohol that she used to numb the pain, and now uses the gym as mental therapy….and don’t even think you could convince her to drink…ever! She is an artist who is finally found what her heart wanted to create! She is a blogger who wants to help other women become strong by sharing her experiences! She is moving on with her life, although slowly for the kids, to be with who she wants to be with. She is no longer controlled by religion or those in it, and expresses her spirituality though logic and common sense. She lifts heavier things than many men, and she will never again give up her control. So, women, be strong, be brave and REBEL, EXCEL, REPEAT!!! Find that amazing woman deep inside you and set her free! And of course, there is a T-shirt. Click the link if you want one of your own.