Tattoo therapy…yes please!

Tattoos…let’s have the talk, why do we do it? Well, here is my story.  Some of you know, most of you don’t, the last several years of my life have have been filled with stress and challenges. I have had a long journey getting my kids diagnosed and I have had health issues of my own to battle. I gave up my career and lost who I was amidst the challenges of having four kids back to back, and then having the kids have a boat load of medical mysteries that left even the most skilled doctors shrugging their shoulders. I went from a career driven successful working woman to a stay at home mom busy with numerous doctor appointments, stays in the ER, field trips, activities and laundry and so on and so on, and my personal life was falling apart.  I had no way to unload my stress, and definitely had no way to deal with it.

You may also not know I am a tomboy and a rebel at heart. I started weightlifting, and was met with a ton of resistance. The weights became a way for me to start the process of setting myself free from expectations and becoming my true self, regardless of what others expected. So who is this “true self”?  She definitely likes to be different. I have always dreamed of getting a tattoo, but not everyone in my life was on board with the idea, so I kept myself from running to the local tattoo artist for some ink…but the desire burned inside me. I found myself admiring tattoos on other people, to the point where I looked like a stalker!

I finally decided, with resistance, to get my first tattoo. It is the butterfly part of my large back tattoo, which had to be redone because I didn’t pick a great artist. It is a zebra swallowtail butterfly. No, they aren’t blue, and it originally wasn’t, but I added the blue for my boys, and the purple flower is for my daughter. Zebra represents Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, as the zebra is the mascot for this condition. Doctors tend to look for horses (common conditions) when they hear hooves (symptoms), but sometimes it’s a zebra (a rare condition). Pic below shows redone butterfly.

The tattoo didn’t hurt, well….it hurt some, but the pain was rather soothing. I have heard from many people who get tattoos that they are soothed by the process. I was kinda hooked! I wanted another one ASAP! So I got my hummingbird done. My daughter’s Indian name means little bird, so it is for her, and the plumeria flower is my absolute favorite flower as it reminds me of my one and only trip to Hawaii. During this tattoo, I literally started to fall asleep. My friend had to make sure I didn’t fall out of the chair! The buzzing of the tattoo machine, the slight pain of the needles brushing the skin….it is rather cathartic!

The next tattoo I got did not go so well….I allowed an apprentice to do it, and she overworked it so bad that it ended up getting infected…plus I walked in some dirt and I am sure that contributed. And she insisted it was not infected, so by the time I went to the doctor, my entire leg was infected and it turned urgent. The doctor had to give me some major antibiotics and worked with me on ointments that would heal the skin flat enough to rework it, as it was pretty much ruined. I have had four kids, and the pain from that infection topped labor! Putting my foot down in the morning, having the blood rush down there, practically brought me to my knees in tears! Since then, it was reworked by Sneez at Por Vida, and was recently finally worked into my entire leg design by Garrett at Steel Skinz tattoo. Both did great! I am only mentioning the tattoo artists I feel comfortable recommending. Yeah the bird is awesome, but the artist and I did not get along. Anyway, every time that leg tattoo had to be redone, it hurt like a SOB! Having scar tissue gone over is not the soothing experience I am used to, but both artists were amazing! This flame tattoo symbolized the hell I have been through in parts of my life, and my passion, and there is a little symbol inside it representing my lost babies…..two of my boys were twins, I lost a twin in both pregnancies. Below is the infected tattoo….I don’t wish that on anyone!

The next tattoo I got was the rest of my large back piece. It was done in several sessions. Sneez at Por Vida did a great job, and he introduced me to Saniderm, which was a life saver as it allowed me to heal the red with no scabbing! I tend to scab reds. Plus it protected it from germs, and we all know how that infected leg tattoo went. So what does this one mean? Well, the roses are my daughter’s birth month flower. Plus, I tend to randomly smell roses, and that smell somehow reminds me of my grandmother who has since passed. This phantom smell my brain creates gives me some great happy feelings. Plus, rose tattoos are just timeless! The clock….if you have seen my latest paintings you will notice I like soft with a harsh contrast. I like the hard, solid looking clock against the softness of the roses. The clock has a few meanings. It represents me getting more time in this life after I was almost killed when I was shot at in an armed burglary (I will post about this in the future). It is also upside down, and has a specific time on it. My life was pretty upside down, and on that certain day represented, I was with friends and my mind made that switch to dig myself out of that dark hole I had fallen into. I had an amazing experience, I found a new purpose to fight for my happiness. I started to fight the darkness, and started to learn where my value really was…..on that day my life changed forever, for the better. Below is the clock, butterfly had not been redone yet.

Then, I decided that lonely awkward flame tattoo on my leg just needed to be a part of a way bigger concept. I wanted a skull to represent that we are all the same underneath, and also to represent that life is short, we all die, so live life to the fullest. Coming out of the flames of the skull is a phoenix, and I am assuming you might understand this one….it is a sign of renewal, hope, growth, survival and a new beginning. It is coming out of flames, rising from the ashes, like I did. Here are some progress pics. I will include more pics later, as it is peeling and healing right now from the last session. It was done by Garrett at Steel Skinz Tattoo. I love Garrett, he has such a light hand, and is an amazing artist! I fell asleep for a lot of this tattoo, except when he had to go over the old tattoo….that hurt, and he did his best to make it go as well as it could considering he was working on an area that had some trauma. It was done in several sessions.

I have probably well over 40 hours into my tattoo therapy, and I have another one in the works! And I finally have someone to get a matching tattoo with me! You will have to wait to see who it is. Tattoos are my therapy. They are mine, no one can take them from me. And they all represent something very important. The pain I feel is soothing, nothing like the pain I have had to deal with having Ehlers Danlos. The pain is different, it’s rhythmic. The buzzing sound soothes my soul, I relax, I rest, I let the pain fade, and I let the artist do his magic! So go ahead and stare at my tattoos, I promise I wont think you are a stalker…just an admirer of art! And my advice??? Life is short, get the tattoo!!!!!!